Discokingurie's Journals

the band wagons full, please catch another.

Dear Fellow Readers,

As we all know, I've been quite busy recording and remixing for our new album.

However when I get the time to come online,
I know I will recieve notes involving wether or not this profile is fake.
That's fine, just don't make a routine out of it.
I understand, but I won't take negative comments.

My word is nothing, and I know it is, it's only words,
So with that said I'm not going to put any energy into this debacle.
I'd rather think about more important things, like the new album!
Which is going along very smoothly by the way.

For those of you who have supported this account,
I thank you for your kindness, not only are you loyal to my word.
But your great people, I wish I could talk to all of you.

Well, I have to run to AMaudio for the 9th songs finalizations.

Have yourselves an awesome summer!

we'll be keeping in touch.

and for those non-believers

keep sending hate-mail.

it doesn't bother me.

Bden

love please save me

tie me up and take me home.
as an alibi to love.
take these broken wings apart
and make them fly above.
you've tought me affection
you've tought me words,
i wish that i could say.
and everytime i see your i.m's
that pain just fades away
this poem was meant for your viewing eyes
and your twisted mouth to ponder on
cause everytime I turn around,
I feel like my life is gone.
past conception, no direction,
loss of senseless hope,
one day I'll find a place to hide
where I won't be under the scope.
I can feel free and live again
just like I once knew,
and you can bring me to this place.
my comfort lies in you.
so be my barren waste land
in which I feel humble in
to find somewhere inside myself
that unknowing glance of dim.
glitter falls, and raindrops pause
it's all about your smile.
so i'll take you down into this place
we'll stay here for a while.
I know this seems a little odd.
I confess myself to you
in hopes that someday
you'll find the time,
to confess these feelings too.

poem.

Feed my will

to feel this moment

pacing in between

with all we resent

the tears are flowing

heart is black

my charcoaled soul

won't take it back

no time to repent

no time to say goobye

I've just been living

wondering why

I don't feel quite

the same today

always wondering

when to stay

when to leave

this lazy heart

my soul is being

torn apart

why can't you see

this fucking pain

why the fuck

should I regain?

This world that lives

inside of me

just wants a chance

to be set free

why can't you be

debt free

it swallows you

you fail to see

the people there

who want to care

I bleed inside

I'll never repair

This tortured relm

this troubled place

with cold dead stars

and empty space

Can't you see it

in my face

my feelings there

have been misplaced

so put your concience

back on track

so it can never

suck you back

into the pain

your on your own

it isn't to pleasant

to be alone

Written By Brendon Boyd Urie

A Story Of Intrication....Written By A Friend Of A Friend

It was a chilly December morning, I remember not being able to feel my fingers, and the gloves I was wearing were cutting the circulation off on my hands. Jade's hands were shoved in her front pockets of her trench coat and I could see our breath as we walked to the local Timmies closest to her house on Manor. We were rambling on as usual and waiting for the warmth that would soon surround us.

We chatted as we sipped our coffee's in the booth. Little did we know of the future that soon awaited.

Fortunatley we had scored tickets to the Panic! concert that night and we decided to celebrate with eachother and bought a bottle of peach schnapps and pepsi to mix with. Only three more days untill the concert. We had found the perfect outfits for the Occasion

Jade was wearing pinstripe pants with a silk black vest with embeded roses on it. She also wore a white button up and her hair was pushed in the front of her face. There were three lines of black makeup running down the side of her cheek. And her eyeshadow was done in blue and red. I was wearing a formal red dress, and black makeup, done with a shadowy effect. Ofcourse the make-up was covered by a silver glitter mask, long velvet black gloves and boots.

When we arrived at the venue, I couldn't believe how many people were there, it was terrible out, it was practically blizzarding. Jade looked over at me and smiled "Woah look at all the little bitches" she said laughing "Yeah and they're all fat and emo" I replied.

We both enjoyed that joke and started laughing. We were still laughing when the angsty screams got louder and louder "Holy shit I can't even hear myself think" I shouted "SHUT THE FUCK UP OR IM GOING TO CUT OFF ALL YOUR FACES" I screamed, but when I turned to see Jade laughing, her eyes were wide with suprise and shock. And when I turned to the commotion, I realized why everyone was screaming.

PANIC! had just gotten off their bus, and were walking towards the crowd, and oh my god.

Brendon had his bangs gelled up and over the side of his face while the two other peices in the front were held down curving into his chin.

He was wearing a black button up shirt and blazer with tight blue faded jeans and a white belt with a gun buckle his brown eyes darted his surroundings and his posture changed as soon as the screaming got louder. He braced his arms and turned to his support. Ryan looked back at him assuringly. Ryan's hair was strung onto the sides of his face and it brushed across the ends of his eyebrows as his head turned around to face Brendon, He was wearing a red ruffled button up and a black blazer. His pants were technically a greyish plaid style but tighter. And he was wearing armani pointed leather loafers. His honey brown eyes shone back at Brendon with assurance. Spencer was dressed in blue pinstriped pants and a grey blazer covering the shirt he was wearing under it, and Jon, of all was wearing a black leather jacket and blue jeans. The screaming got louder as Brendon got closer. I could feel my heart beating in my throat, despite the fact that there were a thousand girls screaming around me, I darted my eyes around and tried not to look straight at him, but then I couldn't help it, I did, and for god sakes he was looking back. His chocolate brown eyes looked straight into mine, he was feet away from me and I was frozen in my existential thought pattern, OH my God!. Jade was practically falling over as she watch Ryan tug on Brendon's shirt sleeve and pulled him towards the door where our eyes departed as he disappeared into the darkness. I shook my head and hands as tingles forced up my body like an 100 watt voltage. Jade was leaning onto venues pole to get in holding her chest, "Jade, are you..." I started "Can't breathe, chest hurts Ryan.......R-R-Ross" she whispered. But I was still in my fuzzy state of mind and could hardly focus properly. Just then a big guy with hairy arms and a bald head grabbed my arm. "You guys are in first" he said, Jade's squeel was sounded out into the brisk air.

I shrugged and shakily walked in the door Brendon had entered into. All I could smell was sauted chinese food as I entered the room. But I couldn't understand why we weren't just going into the audience area. We were literally going into their dressing rooms.

I couldn't breathe, I couldn't speak. Everything was just happening so fast, When I turned to my left, a dresser was beside my hip and Ryan was sitting infront of it looking into the mirror as he applied his make up. Jade's frantic jestures pulled my attention back over to the door "are we aloud to be in here?" she whispered. The big bouncer just stood beside her and didn't decline. She moved towards me in a shifted stance. "are we aloud to be in here?" she asked again. My eyes wandered around the dressing room as Ryan casually didn't even acknowledge our presence. But I tell you, Jade acknowledged his, and as soon as she did she braced her hand on the first thing she could find. Spencer spun his chair around "new hands!. ..it's nice to meet you" he said giving her his hand "Spencer" he inclined. She nodded slightly still staring at Ryan. I stood in the middle of the room, and finally gained enough physical stance to say something "Umn, Why are we in here?" I asked the room. Ryan stood up and reached his hand out "Ryan Ross" he said with a devilishly cute grin. "Nikki" I said back giving his hand a firm shake. He then glanced over at Jade and held his hand out, She shakily wiped her sweaty hand off on her pants and shook his. "I like your outfit" he told her with a smile. Her eyebrows furled together, "Jade means to say thank you" I told him and spun around the room taking in my surroundings. Ryan chuckled a little "So you girls are probably wondering what's going on" Ryan said gingerly

"Umn, sort of," I told him not directly looking at him. "Well, he didn't exactly explain, but he told me to get you in here" he replied. "He?" I asked sucking in as much air as my lungs could take in. "He as in?" Jade asked, "He as in me" a voice said from the other side of the room.

my eyes gazed up at this image of beauty, walking towards me, his bowtie was undone and half of his shirt was tucked into his faded jeans. His perfect lips were pursed as he stopped in front of me, he let out a sigh. "Brendon" he said taking my hand and kissing it. I'm pretty sure that if my feet weren't planted firmly on the ground I would have smacked him in the face that's how much I was currently shaking. His smile formed into a grin, "I couldn't help but notice that you were staring at me" Brendon said then licked his lips. "Yes, but so was everyone else in the crowd, what made my staring different?" I asked him "The fact that your completely intoxicating in the dress" he said. I looked down as my face felt hot and I could feel his eyes staring at me. When I heard someone burst out laughing I looked up and saw Ryan standing beside Brendon. "He always does things like this" Ryan said. Brendon raised an eyebrow at him deviously "Like what Ryan?" he asked "like spontaneously, your always doing whatever comes to your mind the fastest" he said getting towards a giggle. "We really don't do this that often" Ryan informed. Jade was still over looking Ryan. He didn't even seem fazed by it, Brendon pursed his lips again, "So let's say that your 19 am I correct?" Brendon asked me, I looked back at him "yes," I replied. Ryan tugged on Jade's vest "Where'd you get this" he asked her. Her heart was practically jumping out of her chest. "Believe it or not, a thrift store" she replied "I love second hand stores, it's where you get all the classy stuff" he said to her with an adorable smile, "Hey, would you like to come see my wardrobe?" he asked her, she grinned intrigued "YOUR wardrobe?" she asked him, he nodded with a smile "Ofcourse it's not all of it, but I do have a few items here" he replied "You know, and accessories of course" he said. She smiled, he started off to his section of the room, Jade followed and grinned at me nervously, I winked at her and blew her a kiss. "Your Fine" I mouthed in her direction as she gritted her teeth and disappeared with Ryan into his wardrobe room. Brendon's eyes went from the door back to my gaze, he grunted a little "Intoxicating" he said in a british accent "My dear, you are, you are" he mimicked as he slid over to the table beside the stereo system they had set up. He bit his upper lip and turned around to face me again, "Would you like some chinese?, we got it from the best delivery service in the city" he said with a comedical sneer. "sure" I said constantly wiping my hands off on my dress. Spencer spontaneously stood up and stretched his arms "Bren" he grunted, Brendon looked over at his band member with a questionable eyebrow raise, "Jon and I have got to do sound check, I take it your otherwise engaged with the lady in red?" he asked grinning. Brendon nodded "I don't know if engaged would be the proper phrase to use...yet" he said raising his eyebrows repeaditly at me I giggled and covered my mouth with my hand.

Ryan had his hands on a coat hanger trying to budge it from it's cramped space in between two other articles of clothing

"This is my favorite jacket" he said pulling out the black and white striped blazer with a corsage on it. He handed the coat hanger to her "You can try that on" he told her. She gazed at the coat Ryan had handed her in awe. He turned around with another coat in his hand and raised an eyebrow with a cute smile. "Gonna try it on?" he asked her, but she couldn't answer...only stutter out a couple of consenants. he grabbed her arm and pulled the sleeve over her left shoulder and twirled her into the jacket with a tango stance this caused her arms to immediatley wrap around Ryan's torso, his grin faded as he looked down at her. His eyes shone like dew's of honey as he looked down at her his eyelashes fluttered downwards as well. His arms ran up hers and held onto her shoulders, he bit his lower lip, "Dancing has never been this complicated for me" he admitted. Her lip quivered slightly, "Your classy" she whispered up through his hair. His eyes smiled at her as she felt his fingertips touch her ear, the patented leather of his glove brushed across her cheek. She grinned nervously, he leaned down and pressed his lips lightly against hers, then all of a sudden he stopped, took his hand away from her face and turned away from her. Her eyebrows furled together. "Ryan, whats wrong?" she asked him in a whisper. "I'm sorry, I really never act this impulsive, because I'm never really good with those kind of things, it always ends up with me trying to get into a fight with Spence, or vomitting...and I want to apologize, because I really don't know you, I don't even know how old you are...I really just thought that you were interesting and I'd like to get to know..." he stopped and slapped his hands down on his pants. "I'm sorry" he said with a sigh, she was still looking down.

Brendon and I were seated in rolly chairs eating our own plates of Chinese, "Okay now let's see who can eat it the fastest" Brendon shouted "Is that including the chicken balls?" I asked him, he laughed and chewed on the top of his chop sticks "They should really make these flavoured" he said "Really?, like what kind would you chew on?" I asked him "Probably like beef, jerky, or like turkey" Brendon said starting to laugh. "Cause right about now I'm not really feeling the sandalwood flavour" Brendon continued "Do you think that anyone else really chews on them?" I asked him "Probably not, I don't know cause to me it's just like having a huge tooth pick" he said, I bursted out laughing and pushed him lightly "You have the most amazing smile," he said with as much sincerity as he could gather, his right hand reached up and touched the side of my mask. "Your identity must be revealed because I am powerful and your will, will do you nothing" Brendon said and pulled on the string off my mask and slowly revealed my face, His lips smiled wider than I'd ever seen. "Intoxicating".

Jades eyes were still gazing at her feet, and she was thinking oh god if I don't say anything he's going to think I'm a complete loser. "this had nothing to do with how attractive you are" he stated to her, she looked back up at him as he side stepped over to his jackets and pulled one out. It was a black glittered blazer, with an extra glittery trimming, it was tailed and beautiful. "Here, I want you to wear this tonight" Ryan told her, she smiled at him "Ry.." "No it's a gift from me to you...I'm really sorry, I'm just a total geek, I don't really know how to do...umn much, I used to know how to hold an intelligent conversation, until I met...you" Ryan continued.

"My name is Jade Sims, I'm 19 years old, I love to hold long conversations, and I would love it if you would just kiss me again" Jade exclaimed. Ryan raised both eyebrows and put his finger to his chin, actually thinking about the consequences to this was a decision for Ryan to make, she knew that but she also wanted to kiss him again so bad that it ached inside. His Lips pursed to the side as his nose scrunched up. She looked down again, and when she did his hands grabbed hers, she could feel the cool leather of his gloves on her palms as he took her hands in his. He gazed down at her, his breathing decreased, and was heavier..his lips kissed hers again..softly, this one kiss was meant for a connection between the two of them, and it worked. His body pressed harded against hers, and her hands ran under his vest. This was just so surreal to her, but it was happening,

At first I didn't know what to say to him, what I did know was that their show was about to start in a half hour and this boy was looking at me like I'd never dreamed of before. "So tell me, what would you say if I told you my shoe size?" Brendon asked *way to ruin the moment* I thought. "I'd probably say 'good for you' I think" I told him, "11 and a half" Brendon said with a grin. If it weren't for the fact that he was strikingly good looking, I would have smacked him. But he just smiled back at me with that charming presence of his, and I just couldn't be frustrated. He looked down as his face got closer to mine, "you are extremely intriguing" he told me, and kissed my bottom lip, bit and pulled, "Brendon,.." I started but his lips were already pressed pretty hard against mine. My hands grasped the tuft of his hair in the back as his lips kissed mine. "Ehy, Bren," Spence said from the audience door. "I hate to interrupt, really, but we're on in fifteen, and we need you" he said and shoved his hands in his front pockets of his jacket. Brendon looked down and grinned hugely. "Yeah, just gimme a minute" he said and looked back at me. "This'll be a fun show" he said raising both eyebrows up at me with a grin. "Brendon! where's Ryan?" Spence called to him.

Brendon disregarded that and stood up. "It's time to dance" he said and walked towards the door. "Hey!" he called to me from the door. I turned back towards him from putting my mask on and smiled. "Hey" I said back. Just then he threw me a card key "Don't start what you can't finish" he said and walked out the door. Just after that I heard screaming fans, and the slamming of a metal door.

"FOUND HIM!, OH SHIT IM SORRY RY I DIDN'T KNOW....OH SHIT" Spencer said chuckling as he walked back into the room where I stood. "hey, well I guess we'll see you after the show, then...you can go through these doors" he said holding open the audience doors, "Where's Jade?" I asked him, "She'll be out in a minute" he said bursting out laughing "Just wait by the door" he replied and shut the door behind me.

Brendon was standing center stage, and I could see him swinging around his microphone by it's cord.

The intoxication of the crowd was overwhelming, and I could tell that I left him a little unsettled.

He was staring into the crowd as if searching for someone.

Possibly his own lady in red?. His eyes then met mine, those dark brown everlasting pools gazed into mine from the center of the stage feet away. His smile told me everything, and I waved knowingly at him.

He saluted back and tugged on his shirt collar. I then looked down at my collar bone and saw the VIP pass.

I smiled back at him and waved it in the air at him. "I CAN'T WAIT!" I yelled to him.

He fumbled with the mic for a few minutes until it turned on. I then heard the door I came out of open.

Jade walked out with her make-up smeared and her vest half unbuttoned.

"Hey, where did you guys go, nicce jacket" I said and touched the glittery brim.

"Ryan's?" I asked her, she nodded and watched the stage as Brendon paced around still swinging the microphone around, he wrapped it around his neck and glanced over at his bestfriend Ryan who was just entering the stage with his hair tuzzled, and his make-up half smeared. "Hey" he said over the violent ENCORE screaming.

"have fun Ryo?" Brendon asked him, Ryan's face went red as he wiped his mouth "Mhm" he replied and put his guitar strap over his head and attached it to the amp. "you?" Ryan asked Brendon as he stood directly beside him again. "Yess" Brendon said with a laugh. "But not as much as you clearly" he said with a giggle.

The crowd started screaming as Spencer practiced on the drums, "PANIC! PANIC! PANIC! PANIC!" they all shouted. A couple more blips of sound and Brendon's mic got louder. "Hi My name is Brendon Urie," he began
"I play the guitar, piano and vocals". The whole place started screaming, "We have our lovely Ryan Ross on the guitar, Rocking Spence, on the drums, the beat of the band, and John kicking the melody on bass...and we are PANIC! AT THE DISCO!!!!!" Brendon yelled into the crowd, eerie keyboards started playing in the backround as the show began, the lights shone up and down on the band and their instruments.

The show was about to begin.

I couldn't exactly collect myself enough to process this entire situation

I was just kissing Brendon minutes ago, and now he's up on stage, probably thinking about how he was just kissing me. His eyes followed the screaming fans, with their arms outstretched to touch a dream.

you could hear the clampering of the symbols, as they began to play "There's a good reason these tables are numbered honey, you just haven't thought of it yet", I couldn't feel my body, it was humming. His voice was vibrating through my body like a corsing wave of contentment. And I knew that when Ryan was up there playing his guitar sweetly backing up for Brendon that Jade was thinking the exact same thoughts about Ry, as I was about Brendon. That's when Brendon's eyes met mine, There were about 2 thousand in the crowd and his eyes met mine. And as he sang throughout the concert I could hardly take in what would happen after. All the girls screaming high pitched, reaching towards Brendon as he danced on stage shouting his longing vocals into the crowd.

After the last song "Camisado", Brendon belted it off stage and jumped into his body gaurds arms.

I shook my head, as the crowd shifted towards the door for autographs

The band exited through the back doors into their wardrobe rooms.

Jade shuffled over to me standing in front of the stage, "HEY!! THEY FUCKING ROCKED THAT WAS THE MOST AMAZING THING IVE EVER SEEN!!" she yelled over the screaming fans. I was like tranced because I didn't answer her.

But she ran over to the door, so I lazily followed, "We have passes" she informed a body guard. He nodded with a smile and pushed the doors open,but as soon as he did fans started stampeding towards the doors.

"FUCK!" we yelled trying to push through the doors. But the people pushed passed us and the body guards.

The guy was pushed against the door frame bellowing into his walky "WE HAVE AN EMERGENCY HERE".

Brendon was sitting on a chair in the middle of the room, with Spence, Jon and Ryan around him standing, as the crowd sifted its way into their dressing rooms. "Ohhhhh SH!" Brendon yelled but before he could finish hands were grabbing at his shirt and pulling him down to the floor, arms and legs entangled him, as his face hit the concrete dressing room floor. "OH MY GOD OH MY GOD" Brendon peered through his half unconcious state from hitting his head and saw Ryan forced down beside him with girls grasping at his clothes, Ryan's hat flew off and his shirt tore, as a girl ripped a peice off of it. Ryan's eyes closed as his hands covered his head, Jon and Spence were pretty much fighting off their own chicks but Spencer was just swatting them away, and Jon was trying to pull of these suprizingly determined girls off Brendon. "Hey back off ladies, Brendon's mine!" Jon yelled while swiping the girls away. As he tugged a girl back he noticed that he hair had blood in it, and it was all over her hands "HEY BACK OFF" loudly voiced men yelled as they tore the girls away from Brendon and Ryan, my mouth was open wide in astonishment.

I couldn't see passed the girls being taken away from Brendon, but when I could view him, blood poured from his right nostril, and his glasses he had just put on had broken in two, Ryans shirt was torn and his body stammered as a guard helped him to his feet. "We are so sorry guys, we didn't think that they would notice" Zach (Their body guard) stated. Brendon was frantically looking for a tissue while holding his nose, Ryan put his hands on his chest, and as he placed them there he noticed that his glove was gone, his finger was purple, and the ring his mother had given him for christmas last year was totally gone leaving a red contusion on his finger, his head had been pressed so hard against the floor that his hearing was short, and the banging headache was increasing in his head.

Brendon put his hand to his head and felt a wet spot between his hairline and his eyebrows. "Shit I'm bleeding from my face Zach" Brendon told him stuttering. Ryan looked over and grasped Brendons hand in his.

Jon then came over and wrapped his arms around Brendon, I just stood at the entrance, feeling terrible at allowing this mob to destroy the boy I was in Love with. The fans were being pushed out the doors, and security stood from all angles. Brendon's eyes weirily gazed across the room to me, He smiled weakly and jestured for me to come to him. I walked over and stood infront of him, taking off my glittered mask I grabbed the tuft of the back of his hair and pulled his body to mine, I hugged him, and dropped my mask to the floor, His breathing was slow on my shoulder, but he let go and looked at me with a smile and a tissue hanging out of his nose, "Crazyness" he said with sigh. "Come on, we should get out of here before we start another riot" Brendon exclaimed, and then, his hand held mine tightly as he batted his nose with the tissue.

Ryan was startled still as Jade stood infront of him, "Are you okay?" she asked him leading her eyebrows upward. "Yeah," Ryan sighed, "I'm fine, but that's never really happened to us before, that was really crazy"

Ryan said, Zach came over and put his hand on Ryan's back, Ryan rested his head lightly on his shoulder, "Let's get you guys back to your hotels in a bit eh?" he suggested, "You must be exhausted" he finished and walked Ryan to a chair. Ryan sat down and put his head in his hands "I'm a little light headed, I think I just need to...sit for a minute please" Ryan said in a mumble Zach nodded and walked back over to Brendon making weird facial expressions at a tissue. "Brenny" Zach said, "Wanna start packing up buddy, we'll take you and your girls back to your hotel in 15 okay?" Zach stated, Brendon nodded and scrunched his mouth into a pursed frown, "EVIL TISSUE! YOUR RED AND FULL OF IRON" Brendon yelled, and tucked the tissue in his blazer pocket. I smiled at him, even at his worse moments, he looked astonishing. He ruffled Ryan's hair and kissed his forehead "I love you MUUUUAAAAAHHH" Ryan chuckled a little, "It's okay Georgey Porgey, they just want your sexy mind" Brendon said. Ryan chuckled more, "OW, I think I cracked a rib" Ryan whined, Jon and Spence were packing things up "Want me to get your drobe Ry?" Spence asked. "Yeah you could do that for me, I'm kinda disoriented" he stuttered. Jade sat beside him and comfortingly patted his head.

Just then Brendon went slinging from one side of the room to other in a swivel chair, and crashed into Jon who was exiting Ryan's wardrobe room with an armful of jackets. "Oh Snap" Brendon said and bursted out laughing. "You got his clothes everywhere" Jon stated "Well I was trying to play jacks with the swively chair and you were the jack" Brendon said "Actually my name is Jon" Jon said, Ryan looked up devastated "What'd you do?" he gasped

Brendon pursed his lips and stood in one spot, "At least they didn't land in anything?" Brendon stated, Jon bursted out laughing, "Yeah, at least we didn't bring Ryro's wardrobe out when the parade of adolescents crashed our dressing room" Jon said, Brendon looked over at Ryan and picked his articles of clothing back up off the floor, and put them in his suit case. "I don't think I bleeded on any of them" Brendon exclaimed with a sniff. "bleeded isn't a word Brenny" Ryan said to him and closed his suitcase infront of him on his chair. Zach then walked back in, "Guys the bus is out back so lets try to be stealthy when exiting the building and don't attract any attention" Zach said to them, Brendon slung his bag around his shoulder and grabbed his broken glasses from the table. "Well, looks like I need to get a new prescription..." Brendon began "Or ya know just never wear glasses again" Ryan continued "And walk into walls and shit" Spencer finished "Wait, that would actually be really funny to see" Spencer said with a laugh. "Yeah, Yeah shut up" Brendon said pushing the metal door to back open and looking around, "I think all the crazies are gone" Brendon yelled back to them. Spencer pushed Brendon out of the way and walked outside to bus. "They're gone!" he yelled. Brendon peered out the door and tip-toed to the bus dragging me with him, Ryan then came out being crutched by Zach on one side and Jon on the other, Jade slowly followed out after. When we had seated safely in the bus. Brendon sighed with relief and chugged back half a bottle of water. "That show was pretty Insane" Brendon began "Yes, it was pretty crazy" Jon continued. Jade and I stared at eachother...but what we we're really thinking was beyond that state at all.

When we arrived at the hotel rooms, we were a little nervous, but pretty altogether excited to see what their living spaces looked like. Spencer slid quietly into his own room, as did Jon, after a quick goodnight hug with Brendon and Ryan. Brendon then kissed Ryan on the forehead and pushed him to his hotel room door. "Go on, have fun without me lad" Brendon chuckled.

Ryan nodded and opened the door for Jade who quietly slipped into his room after, Ryan was too much of a proper guy to be clutching and grabbing at a woman.
You'd probably find Ryan reading a book snuggled up on the couch with her the next morning.
When Ryan entered the room with her, he realized that it was quite a mess from the following night,
The boy decided to hang around in his hotel room for that night and ended up leaving clothes and assorted wrappers all over the floor
not including, games, controllers and lolly pop sticks Brendon left stuck to the night side table.
Ryan sighed and turned to her smiling at the entrance, "Sorry it's kind of messy in here" he stated even though it was obvious
She chuckled..."that's alright...". Ryan stood in the middle of the room, "Just give me a minute and I'll have this cleaned up in no time" Ryan stated, and began to pick up wrappers from the floor, dispersing them into the trash can. She still stood at the door watching him, *he even looks good picking up trash* she thought...*or maybe I'm just a crazy person* her thoughts traveled off to the point where she didn't realize that he was done "I would have told you to make yourself at home, but I believe no person can feel "at" home in a hotel room..and a messy one" he explained, but stopped when he realized that she was still standing at the door
"please, come in" he said with a smile, she nodded and paced to where Ryan was standing.
She sighed "Why did you invite me in here?" she asked him out of blunt curiousity. "Umn to be entirely honest with you...I'm not so sure" he replied
She sighed again "Well, I feel kind of cheap, with the being invited up into a rock stars hotel room and all" she admitted
"please, don't assume that I invited you up here for sex" Ryan stated "it wasn't even on my mind, I just want to...converse...talk, or do whatever you want to do...I'm pretty sure I'd be okay with kissing you....I mean if you wanted...." Ryan stopped because she was laughing "And the ramble award of the day goes to" she said.
He looked down with a grin formed on his handsome stubble "I'm sorry, can we start over?" he whispered.
She brushed her fingertips across his cheek "Any time you want to rewind, let me know" she replied.
He smiled again, and took her hand..."I actually have a book, if you want to we can take turns reading it" he handed her his Robert Frost Poetry book
She smiled at him "Ryan Ross, you are perfect in every way" she stated, he grunted "Hardly, I could reveal some flaws, but I think you'll find those yourself in time" He said "In time?" she asked him "You planning on spending more time with me Mister Ross?" she continued his lips spread into a smile again "As long as I don't have to keep rewinding my absence of thought..." he laughed

Bang Bang Bang "Fuck I totally missed that shot alright bring it again come on! I would have had you there if you didn't move" Brendon screamed.
I laughed "I'm not going into your line of fire, you'll shoot me and I wont be able to kill those zombies in the corner" I yelled "Yes, but If I shoot you, I'll be able to kill them and your mission will have no purpose" He laughed. I grasped his hand on the controller "Gimme that" I yelled, but his hand dropped the controller and grabbed my both my wrists pinning me to the couch. "Brendon stop," I giggled, "Let me go" I squealed "Never!" Brendon yelled and kept his hands pressed against my wrists pinching the blood flow "Seriously, stop it" I whispered "You suck at trying to refrain me" he exclaimed, I could feel his breaths quicken on my neck as his hands finally let go of my wrists while our eyes met "Those eyes" I whispered, he smiled gingerly and looked down "No don't look down" I whispered again, his eyes shifted back up to my gaze
"Their so beautiful" I said to him. He smiled again and pinned me back down "rawr" he whispered before his nose brushed mine and he nuzzled into my neck "I'm in the perfect position to bite you right now" he muffled into my neck. My face contorted with laughter, as he made hissing noises that were muffled into my skin. He pulled away from my neck and looked into my eyes "Do you trust me?" he asked, I nodded "Good," he said and let go of my wrists, "Because I have something to show you" he explained I rolled my eyes "Yeah, I've heard that before" I said, "Seriously...I'll be right back" he said and jolted in through the doorway.
I sighed and slapped my hands down on my red gown.

"It was as if her beauty, astonished his entire being, took in his entire will, diverged in loving sequence, he felt her every word peirce through his body like a whispered glow, making her throned above all the rest" Ryan read,

Jade was smiling at him, "Your such a good reader....*cough* have you ever thought about reading for those books on tape?" she asked him
He laughed "would they be childrens books?" he asked "like the tortoise and the hare?" he questioned. She smiled at him and poked him in the side
"it's your turn to read" he said to her. She had better ideas...but she wasn't about to ruin his image, "You keep reading, I'll listen, I can't promise I won't fall asleep" she stated "What am I that boring?" he asked her "Naw, I didn't mean it like that...I just meant...you know because your voice is soothing" she said
"Is it my turn to have the remote?" he asked cutely, "You are astonishing" she said to him "Please, don't be modest, how can you even be single?" she asked him
"I haven't found someone I can really connect with, girls aren't very nice at times, I haven't been able to read them and be interested yet" Ryan stated
"I get you" she said "interested yet?" she asked him "intruiged actually" he said and moved closer to her on the couch.
She was blushing but wasn't afraid this time, his bottom lip touched hers and pressed softly against it, his cold leather glove consumed her right cheek as his mouth massaged against hers, her hands ran through to the front of his hair to the back. She was completely intoxicated by him, his eyelashes fluttered against her cheek as he pulled away and leaned his head against hers, "Your lips are sweet..." he whispered, his tongue surfaced his top lip, "like honey...or low fat sugar" he continued
"thank you?" she giggled, "I can't see fit to this" Ryan said and rose from the couch "We're too good to be subesequented to this vulgarity" he stated and pulled her up to him "lets be better than everyone, lets go for a stroll" he told her, she smiled "Okay", she said to him
Ryan took his jacket and threw it on, as they walked out the hotel room she was laughing
"your adorable" she said.

I was still sitting on the couch when Brendon ran back in with a long, black, silk, scarf
"We're going to play a game" Brendon said to me, I raised my eyebrows, "What kind of game?" I asked him
His hands moved over my shoulders as the silk touched beside the straps of my dress, My eyes were enclosed in darkness and the silk brushed against my temples as he tightened it around my head. "Brendon...what kind of game are we playing?" I asked him "You'll see" he whispered from quite a distance away.
"actually..." I replied "No I wont" I said with a giggle "Well, that's part of the game" he said "You don't get to see me" he exclaimed "Why?" I asked
He sighed "patience" he said, I then felt something tickling my shoulder, it was light and soft "What is it?" he asked me "what am I touching you with?"
my eyes fluttered in the darkness causing the silk to tighten "ummm, is it a feather?" I asked him "You tell me" he said
I laughed again as he kept brushing the object against my shoulder "Yes, I'm positive thats a feather" I told him but heard nothing
I then felt a cold sensation against my neck, then a trickle of water trail down my chest and under my dress, I shuttered and inhaled
"Thats definitley an ice cube"

Brendon Sings Only For Brendon

Brendon Sings Only For Brendon.
Nothings Rhymes With Circus.
I Love Skeleton Hugs, They're Death.
Run From Me, Not To Me.
Your Allowed To Bleed If It's Glitter.
It's Cold In This Place.
The Ninja Turtles Are All Artists.
Pop Culture Went Down Hill When It Began.
My Pink Is Your Black.
My Brown Eyes Decieve Me More Than You.
You Lift My Package Not My Spirits.
You Don't Know Me.
80's Rock Hair Metal Is Kicks.
You Won't Get Anywhere If You Don't Try Harder.
Icing Fights Are The New Craze.
You Don't Read About Me's Unless Your A Girl.
Insomnia Has Been Hanging On Clocks.
All That Glitters Is Cold.
I'd Never Bleach It.
Don't Fight Over Me, I'll Be Gone Before Your Start Pulling Hair.
You Want Always What You Can't Have.
So Keep Wanting Me.
You Don't Narrow Quite As Good With A Tongue Tie.
Blaring Speakers Never Felt So 90's
Lipstick Me.
I Want A Girl With Style.
Taste My Rainbow.
Peanut Butter Cups Turn On Fossits You Wish You Effected.
Your Always Better On Your Back.
I'm Only Happy When It Rains.
Frolicaholics Never Came In This Great Of A Package.
We're Painting Your Trash Gold, While You Sleep.
Crash With My Hips, Play With My Songs
Your Eyes See Me When Mine See Through You.
Your Disaster Will Make Me A Fortune.
Fingernails Scrape Me Good.
Lick My Lips For Me.
You Wish You Could Read My Mind.
Malcom Mcdowell Is A Genius.
Your My Fact, I'm Your Reason.

Vintage Sunglasses Express Me.
Redbull And Cigarello's Are My New Fave Swing.
I Never Wanted Gold Until You..

party details check it out!

This was the craziest of birthdays ever!
okay first of all, my parents bought me the most homosexual cake I've ever seen,
It had purple and green icing bro, I kid you not
my brothers were making fun of me for hours.
side note:it's hard to find a place that caters vegetarian food!
and when I asked them for some kinda of green pepper and tofurky kabobs they looked at me like I was nuts, like is this guy serious?
so after my starbucks experience I totally lost it, I was trying to gather myself back up to go out shopping for some new green and black chucks,
when I found the right ones they didn't have them in my size, I was like how do you NOT have size 11? Spencer got me the coolest thing ever! it's one of those ps3 adapters so you can play multiplayer lost planet! I was like dude, if you weren't a guy I'd kiss you!
Jon picked up my date, because I was running around everywhere looking for a birthday card for myself, because I'm a loser like that, Ryan got me one of those internet constellations, so now theres an entire constellation named after me, I was like I'm surprised that hasnt already been named, it's shaped like my nose haha, My date got me an entire years supply of caprisun!
I was like ahhhhhhhhh! ofcourse it's not ALL straw banana, but most of it is!
So I saw a bunch of people including my sister, i got holla hoops, and crowns that say party princess on them, what am I going to do with a stack of pink sparkly crowns? anyone want one?
So I finally found the right catering service and ofcourse I had to have my own veg platter
including some icecream cake! which is the most amazing thing in the world.
I got some stuck in my beard, it was interesting
Jon told me that all you lovely people sent me regards so I printed off all of the signs you guys made me! thanks so much for your thoughts and birthday wishes!
my night got better after that,
But I'm stopping there.

Brendon

20 Years Old?

I turned 20 today,
Isn't that just interesting?
I find myself in complete awe,
It doesn't even feel like I've changed at all.
I wonder why that is?
I've come so far in life, and been through so much that nothing seems to faze me anymore.
It feels like a cycle,
I hope you all know what I mean,
So I went to starbucks this morning, the one close to that wicked shoe store?
naw, no-one really lives in vegas haha, so anyways I went there and I got my usual Iced Red Eye.
Which I don't think classifies as a drink anymore, it classifies as endorphins,
I'm wicked hyper, standing by my cav, drinking this awesome concoction when this random person runs over to me and grabs my shoulders, I'm in shock like what the hell are you doing?
and they shake me violently and start yelling "YOUR THAT GUY FROM THAT BAND HOLY SHIT!" my eyes are wide and my drink is barely being held in my palm and I'm like who the hell is this person?, so I kinda stare at them, and then say "What are you doing?" and they smile at me, take their hands away from my shoulders and grab my hand, they tell me their name and I'm like uhh? am I supposed to know who you are?, and they say dude I dated your ex girlfriend in highschool,
I'm standing there thinking shit! who did I date in highschool?
and thats when they swipe my drink and take a sip, I'm like What the &*%&$! that's my drink!
but I didn't say that I kinda just stared at them consuming my four dollar frozen coffee with my eyebrow raised and what do they say!? sorry man, and hand the drink back to me, I just kinda swat them away and say take it, then they smile again and say it was nice catching up and walk away,
At this point im the most confused person on the planet thinking
"I just turned 20 and some person stole my drink".
So I go back into starbucks and get another one right?
and I walk outside and this skateboarder zooms passed me and knocks my new drink to the cement!
I'm cursing and swearing, it was the funniest thing you'd ever see, some guy just kicking shit around in blue high top converses, cursing about a coffee
After that I DONT even bother getting another one, and I get back in my car and start it.
I missed a red light through the strips intersection, so I turn down the street I live on and this mercedes almost hits my car, I reverse to back into my driveway because thats where I was pulling into
and the person driving the mercedes is RYAN!.
Ryan pulls beside me in the driveway and starts laughing, I can see him laughing through the window,
and I give him the finger, he then unrolls the window and sticks his head out "Happy Birthday!" he shouts, and I just sneer at him like you gave me a heart attack you a hole.
I get out of my car and walk over to Ryan who gets out of his as well and slams the door.
I go, "you know what this means" and Ross nods, and goes
"thumb war"

Hope you all have a wicked day!

Brendon

our new albums approximate release date

The Yet To Be Titled New Abum
APPROXIMATE RELEASE DATE: November 2007

the true musician

The true musician

He grows in wisdom...He is brilliant...He learns to do without and is prepared to make great sacrifices...enormous sacrifices... if I may say...His energy is tremendous... In other words he is prepared for the struggle...and with honesty he shall fight it...

The performance of an Art demands complete self-denial... ...It was not meant as a joke what I just said...about sacrifices... The Music makes heavy demands upon those who want to devote themselves in it...This is what I have wanted you to call your attention to...

A true musician must subordinate himself his Art; ...he must place himself above human suffering; ...he must draw courage from within...and only from within

Currently listening :
The Cure - Greatest Hits
By The Cure
Release date: By 13 November, 2001